

"The Camera Never Lies..."
Posted by Anonymous at 1:22 PM 0 Comments
Posted by Anonymous at 11:07 AM 0 Comments
Now in Russia you can buy vodka bottle which looks like a AK-47. We love this! We're not sure how much this little devil costs but our Russian friend informs us it is legit. There's an authentic production tag attached to the barrel. 
Posted by Anonymous at 9:46 PM 0 Comments
Posted by Anonymous at 9:22 PM 0 Comments

AutoMotorSport Sweden has the inside scoop on the next generation BMW 5 Series. Set to be revealed in 2010 the all new sedan gets a completely new platform and most importantly a new exterior design. Overall, the design is a major departure from the current yet ever controversial E60 5 Series, however, it retains the same characteristic design play of concave and convex shapes BMW calls “flame surfacing”.
Based on information from various AMS sources, these computer renderings created by AMS illustrator Radovan Varicak, show some design cues adopted from the current 3-Series such as the rear lamps and v-shaped hood lines extending down into the front grille bumper fascia as well as a coupe-like roof-line which extends down into the quarter panels and luggage lid. As a result the infamous “bangle butt” is gone.
With this more appealing design, AMS believes BMW will regain the confidence of the customers lost from the E60. In addition, BMW will continue with more cutting edge technology and enhanced electronic driving aids such as improved iDrive, new torque splitting all-wheel-drive (aka Dynamic Performance Control), Flex-Ray high-speed vehicle network architecture and a light-hybrid engine system. The new M5 will keep its V10 but with increased horsepower and an 8-speed dual-clutch gear box (i.e. DSG).

Posted by Mr ® at 1:58 PM 0 Comments
1. Inability to put forth the effort required to complete any task.
Posted by Spiderman at 7:36 PM 0 Comments
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her, but down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed -- "Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Foy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
Posted by Spiderman at 7:33 PM 0 Comments
1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving.
5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry. Wonder where the vomit stain came from to begin with.
6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refresh- able ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.
10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly andset in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment. When done, squeeze out the remainder in a glass.
12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
13 Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.
15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.
Posted by Spiderman at 7:25 PM 0 Comments
At first he thought he would become the laughing stock of the army when he was told to wear the yellow helmet in his platoon.
Now he knows the yellow helmet means he is the lucky dude and his colleagues will envy him. He has the safest job around.
Posted by Spiderman at 6:33 PM 0 Comments
…Or severe distortions thereof…
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine .
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis..
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Posted by Anonymous at 9:00 PM 0 Comments