10 Signs That Your Child is Too Old to Breastfeed

10. He can open your blouse by himself, with one hand.

9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.

8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.

7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.

6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.

5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine.

4. After each feeding, he has a smoke.

3. He frequently invites his friends over for dinner.

2. You feel an uncontrollable urge to listen to "Dueling Banjos."

And the number one sign your child is too old to breastfeed:

1. Beard abrasions on areola.