Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Oprah's African School Being *Run Like a Prison*


Parents at Oprah (seen here strangling random black girls with her enormous pythons) Winfrey's school in South Africa, say that the school is being run less like a school for girls and more like a prison (without the hot girl-on-girl tussling action) prompting Oprah to look at her bank book and giggle, as she eats bacon wrapped chocolate whilst scratching her ginormous ass with a claw hammer:
The girls could receive visitors every fortnight, but parents can now only visit them once a month.

Cellphones and e-mail correspondence are out of bounds during the week, and girls are only allowed to phone their parents at weekends. The maximum number of visitors per pupil is four, and visits have to be approved by the school at least two weeks in advance.

John Samuels, the executive head of the school, confirmed that only one visit a month would be allowed in future. This means that if a girl has five siblings, she will only be able to see all of them over a period of three months.
To Oprah's credit, she probably didn't hear the bad news of her school over the crunching sound of the pork rinds that she's been eating with extreme prejudice.

As soon as Oprah puts down crunchable foods, I'm sure the whole problem will be resolved. Mind you, at the rate that she's been molesting foods, that might be in 6 years, but whatever, it's not like this is real news, it's more about the chance to make a weight joke at Oprah's expense.

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