Saturday, March 10, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
A Guide to Words Women Use...
1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.
8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.
White Lions...
A Chinese zookeeper holds two white lion babies in Hangzhou, East China. The lion cubs' mother, 14-year-old Dandan, died from difficult labour on after giving birth to the two babies.
The lion cubs have to be fed with dogs' milk.
Qiqi, the two baby lions' father, howls everyday after Dandan's death.
What Women Really Want Out of a One Night Stand...
Whether it's your favorite pair of lacrosse shorts or a t-shirt so soft that babies compare the softness of their butts to it, women will steal it. Maybe it's some sort of estrogenic impulse engrained in their DNA or maybe mothers tell their daughters "Now honey, after you give it up make sure to get your hands on his soccer camp t-shirt from eighth grade." All I know is that women seek out these articles of clothing like a priest on an alter boy. That's the real reason women like athletic looking guys, it's not the abs or the arms, they just know that athletes will have a better stash of broken in t-shirts and shorts.
So how do they repeatedly pull this off? Simple, they wait for the deed to be over (generally they don't have to wait that long) and drop a sly line. "I'm gonna go run to the bathroom, do you mind if I just throw on these shorts and this t-shirt?" What are you going to say, "no?" You're half asleep by now and everything a naked girl says sounds like a good idea.
The truly evil female will take it to the next level. The worst breed of woman to ever slip out of her panties and into your wardrobe is the Hot Hoody Thief. This particular peccadillo usually starts with "I'm cold" and ends with "I'll get this back to you tomorrow," and then you never see your beloved Liverpool t-shirt again. It's gone faster than you came.
The only positive aspect of this crime against humanity is that it gives you an indication of where a potential girlfriend has been. If her closet looks like a locker room lost and found and the number of teams represented is great enough to form a league, then chances are she has had more athletes in her than Madison Square Garden.
Geneva: One-Of-A-Kind Parked In Swiss Garage...
This is something you’ll see only in Geneva, or perhaps Italy (where the car is registered): the one-of-a-kind Ferrari GG50, a special design that Giorgetto Giugiaro gave to himself on the company’s 50th anniversary in 2005. It’s based on the Ferrari 612 Scaglietti (although slightly shorter) and retains the same mechanical bits and pieces.
To find this car sitting in a parking lot is a little like finding Heidi Klum sitting in the waiting room at your dentist’s office. Sure, it could happen, but it’s near impossible that the stars would align (or that we would actually remember to schedule our six-month checkup, but that’s a different story).
Could the driver have been Giugiaro himself?
Captain America Killed...
As Captain America emerges from a courthouse building, he is struck by a sniper's bullet in the shoulder and then hit again in the stomach, blood seeping out of his star-spangled costume.
His death is sure to ignite controversy in the comic book world - still reeling from Superman's death in 1993 and resurrection the following year - and even political pundits, who may see Captain America's demise as an allegory for the United States.
Dead Man Phones Home...
Deepak Bhattacharya, who had left his house on Tuesday to pay a phone bill, was shocked to hear from his family that they were preparing to cremate a dead body they thought was his, the Press Trust of India reported.
The mix-up in the central Indian city of Raipur occurred after police called the family about an hour after Bhattacharya had left his home and asked them to identify a corpse.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
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An Entire Bottle of Bacardi 151 Rum is Not Healthy...
Police say he passed out shortly after. But when friends checked on him the next morning, Gonzales was dead.
Police are investigating if a parent, 42-year-old Billy Smith, who was at home during the party, played a role in the incident.
"We're not sure if he provided the alcohol or knew the young man was only 19 years old," said Modesto Police Department spokesman, Craig Gundlach.
Naomi Campbell to Mop NY Floors in Gloves and Vest...
But Campbell, who was sentenced to community service as punishment for throwing her mobile phone at her housekeeper, will serve her five-day sentence indoors.
Singer Boy George attracted a media throng when he swept streets in a court-ordered punishment in August.
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