Friday, March 07, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Mafia Logic...
An old Italian Mafia ‘Don’ is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed. “Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you always remember me.” “But, Grandpa, I really don’t lika guns. Howz about you leava me your Rolex watch instead?”
“Shuddup an’a lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business. You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a bigga home and maybe a couple a bambinos. Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find your wife inna bed with a nother man. Whadda you gonna do then……, Pointa to you watch and say, ‘Times up’?”
The Fairy...
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband’ thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.
A Man's Best Friend...
A dog is truly a man’s best friend. If you don’t believe it, just try this experiment:
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
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