Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Take The Snake Test...
Is there a better way to test if a person is afraid of snakes than making sure they are all female, get them to wear tiny bikinis and see if they scream? If there is a better way, please let me know.
The Latest Lingo as Spoken on the Streets of India...
Dear sir, with reference to your above see my below - popular opening line in official letters.
Teachress - a female teacher.
Timepass - a trivial activity that passes the time.
She freaked out last night - she had a good time.
Your lyrical missive has enveloped me in the sweet fragrance of our love - from a book advising lovers on how to write to girlfriends.
How often do you take sex? - question from doctor to patient.
Pritam Singh has left for his heavenly above - a death notice.
Hue and Cry notice - title of police missing person newspaper advertisement.
Don't do nuisance in public - government admonition against urinating in public
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Quotes to Live By...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you're the pigeon; some days you're the statue.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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