Real Teachers...

Real teachers will eat anything left in the teachers' lounge.

Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of nine weeks. Grading in church is permissible.

Real teachers know that sixth graders get hormones from Santa at Christmas.

Real teachers cheer when they learn that April 1 does not fall on a school day.

Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair.

Real teachers are written up in medical journals for the size and elasticity of their bladders.

Real teachers have been timed gulping down lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.

Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will appear at an open house.

Real teachers understand the importance of making sure every kid gets a valentine.