You Might Be A Taliban If....

...You refine heroin for a living but have a moral objection to beer.

...You own a $300 assault rifle and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

...You have more wives than teeth.

...You think vests only come in two styles: Bullet-Proof and Suicide.

...You've used a Stinger missile given to you by George Bush, Sr. to shoot at a helicopter sent by George Bush, Jr.

...You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry live ammunition in your robe.

...You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

...You've ever said, "I'd walk a mile for a Camel" and you don't even smoke.