The Talking Alarm Clock...

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

“What’s that big brass gong?” one of the guests asked.

“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the drunk replied.

“A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend.

“Yup,” replied the drunk.

“How’ s it work?” the friend asked, squinting at it.

“Watch,” the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “You asshole, it’s three-fifteen in the morning!”