Friday, February 16, 2007

What Time Does To You...


Here are a few examples of before and after you fall in love:

BEFORE - You take my breath away
AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating

BEFORE - Twice a night
AFTER - Twice a month

BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
AFTER - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

BEFORE - Saturday Night Fever
AFTER - Monday Night Football

BEFORE - Don't stop
AFTER - Don't start

BEFORE - Is that all you're having?
AFTER - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

BEFORE - It's like I'm living in a dream
AFTER - It's like he lives in a dorm

BEFORE - $60/doz.
AFTER - $1.50/stem

BEFORE - Turbocharged
AFTER - Jumpstart

BEFORE - We agree on everything
AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

BEFORE - Victoria's Secret
AFTER - Fruit-of-the-Loom

BEFORE - Charming and Noble
AFTER - Chernobyl

BEFORE - Feathers and handcuffs
AFTER - Ball and chain

BEFORE - Idol
AFTER - Idle

BEFORE - I love a woman with curves
AFTER - I never said you were fat

BEFORE - He's completely lost without me
AFTER - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

BEFORE - Time stood still
AFTER - This relationship is going nowhere

BEFORE - Croissant and cappuccino
AFTER - Bagel and instant

BEFORE - You look so seductive in black
AFTER - Your clothes are so depressing

BEFORE - Oysters
AFTER - Fishsticks

BEFORE - I can hardly believe we found each other
AFTER - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

BEFORE - Passion
AFTER - Ration

BEFORE - Once upon a time
AFTER - The end

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