The Litigious Palm Tree...

A palm tree is suing a drunk driver who crashed into it:

Ras Al Khaimah - A palm tree could have its day in court after a drunk-driver crashed into it. Due to the damage sustained to the tree in the collision, the case could now go to the civil court for a damages claim. The Ras Al Khaimah Traffic Court ruled earlier this week that a civil case could be launched by the victim - the palm tree.

How the hell does this work?

Does the tree uproot itself and lumber into court, trailing soil and sand all over the carpets? How does it speak? Does it rustle its leaves in a suggestive way, or does it creak its branches in some arboreal form of Morse code? Or perhaps it summons up a friendly dryad to plead on its behalf?

And what exactly is it going to do with the money it gets? Buy "tree bling" - solid gold tinsel and Swarovski Christmas decorations? Build itself a marble wall to keep out the other trees in its orchard? Hire forty servants to french polish its leaves and push its saplings around the shopping mall?

Or has the RAK calendar only just reached 1st April?